The Broken ABC’s

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I want to tell you a story. It’s the story of the broken ABC’s. A’s husband left her for another woman last year. B and C are siblings and their dad walked out on them when they were kids. D was bullied in school because she didn’t have trendy clothes or expensive toys. E’s best friend stole money from her 5 years ago. F and G are in the middle of a divorce and H and I are paying a high price watching their parents tear each other apart. J was abused by her step father when she was a girl. K’s mom prioritized work, and never made her feel important. L was the oldest of many siblings and lost her parents in an accident when she was young. Then she lost her childhood to too much responsibility too soon. M is a single mom of 4, who was abandoned by her childrens’ father. N’s coworkers gossip about her every day. O hates the person she sees in the mirror. P is mocked for her weight by her classmates. Q’s father told her she would never be anything, and no one will ever love her. Two strangers laughed at R yesterday in the mall. S has critical parents, and she will never live up to their expectations. T’s sister is addicted to drugs. U’s son has lost his way and will not return her calls. V lost his job and all his friends went with it. W wants, more than anything, for her husband to look at her like he used to. X told her friend about a problem, and that friend didn’t keep it to herself. Y feels alone in a room full of people. And Z just lost her dad to cancer.

There is one thing the broken ABC’s have in common: emotional wounds. Some are deep, some are shallow. Some were caused intentionally or carelessly by others and some were accidents or circumstance. Some are old and dusty, some are fresh and raw, but all are bleeding. All the ABC’s need healing. The kind of healing they can only receive from the Father.

You see, this world is a mess. It’s full of sin. It’s full of pain. It’s full people. And people aren’t perfect. People betray. People lie. People steal. People love poorly. Even good people hurt us. Even our favorite people fall short and let us down. There is only One who will never hurt us; only One is the same yesterday, today, and forever; only One who will never let us down. But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness. Psalm 86:15

Some of the ABC’s need to forgive those that hurt them. Their unforgiveness is like pouring salt on their wounds. Forgiving is the first step to healing. But what about the others? What about the ABC’s that harbor no unforgiveness? Why aren’t their wounds healed? It’s simple really, they haven’t granted the Healer access to the wounds. Well, why not?

The deceiver loves wounded ABC’s. He comes to steal, kill, and destroy. And he knows one thing without a shadow of doubt. If he can keep the ABC’s wounded and bleeding, then he has a chance at keeping them from becoming the kind of ABC’s the Creator wants them to be. If he keeps them bleeding, he has a road into their lives. So he tells them three lies.

1. Forgiveness is enough. Once you forgive those who hurt you, that’s all you can do.
2. If you ignore the pain, it will go away. Just shove it down deep and pretend it isn’t there. One day soon, you’ll forget it ever happened.
3. You can heal yourself. Just think positive thoughts and read some self help books, and you’ll be good to go. If you can’t heal yourself, you’re not strong enough. Keep trying.

There is one thing the father of lies wants to make sure the ABC’s never find out; the Creator wants His ABC’s whole. He wants them complete, lacking nothing. He is a good Father. He desires to set them free from pain, and to stitch up ALL of their wounds.

As you probably know by now, the church is full of ABC’s. But the Lord is weeping over the condition of His bride. I was an ABC. I had many old wounds buried deep. I held on to my pain for far too long. I believed the lies that were told to me. But no more. I am whole now. Giving God access to the darkest parts of myself was possibly the scariest, most painful, most amazing, best thing I have ever done! I didn’t want to be an ABC anymore. I wanted to be free! I wanted a life without an open invitation to the enemy to get in my way. I wanted to be an instrument for His glory! I couldn’t be that instrument while I was hiding in the corner afraid to be hurt again. So, I opened up. I let all that pain rise up. I praised Him for his perfect Love. And I let that Love seep into me and fill all those holes. It flowed down into my soul and sealed up every crack caused by this world’s imperfection. You see, He made me. He knows everything about me, and He is good. He knows exactly how to love me. He knows exactly how to love you to. He knows if you’re an ABC. He knows if you have stuffed your pain down deep. You aren’t hiding it from Him, just like you aren’t hiding it from yourself; not REALLY.

So here’s the challenge. Are you an ABC? Do you have wounds you keep to yourself? Do you have pain you hope people never see? It doesn’t matter when the wound was caused or how. The only thing that matters is that God wants to see you whole and complete lacking nothing. He wants to see you free! He wants to empower you to look the enemy straight in the eye and call him a liar while you slam his access door into your life right in his face. It’s hard and easy. It’s excruciating and exhilarating. But the most important thing to remember is the battle is already WON. You have victory over your past and present hurts. Claim it! Take the healing that is yours! Get vulnerable before the Lord who has your best interest at heart. Take the risk. He will not let you down, and one thing is for sure; you wont regret it!

Just a Mom and her tools

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God changed my life … again. He has a tendency to do that! There have been 3 significant, undeniable times that He has changed me in a BIG way, but today I’m only going to tell you about the most recent. So, here’s the story …

Go back with me to January of 2015. We are living in Tennessee, and all of our family and friends live in North or South Carolina. Brandon was working long hours, and I was isolated to our house with our two girls. K was almost 4 and P was 2. I was about 14 weeks pregnant with our third baby. I was miserable. It was horrible. Lonely and frustrating and exhausting. We decided to move to North Carolina to be close to part of my family. I was so excited! I couldn’t wait! I couldn’t stand doing everything by myself for one more day! We moved in March. It was the best day! Seriously, I’ve thought about making it a family holiday.

A few months went by. I was still very unhappy. I was annoyed with myself for being unhappy. The only thing I have ever wanted was to be somebody’s mom and somebody’s wife. I wanted a house full of kids. I wanted to be able to be a stay home mom. I wanted the chance to love on my kids 24/7, and be there for every milestone. I wanted to be class mom, and team mom, and field trip mom. And here I was, sitting in the middle of all my dreams coming true, and I couldn’t get happy. Something wasn’t right. Something in my spirit was just …  unsettled. I was aggravated and agitated all the time. I just couldn’t put my finger on the why of it.

If you were to ask me to list my best qualities, I could think of a few things I feel good at. But one of the top contenders would be strength. I’m a strong woman. Emotionally strong and physically strong. I deal with stress very well, and can juggle many responsibilities at one time. But life was getting the best of me. My strong willed mini me was having me for lunch. My tender hearted, super sensitive middle girl was in the throes of the threenage years. My newborn just wanted me ALL. THE. TIME. The dishes and laundry wouldn’t end, and I was just LOSING. Trying every trick in the book, and still losing. Giving it everything I had … losing.

Then I was in church one Sunday, and our worship leader sang a new song. I loved the song in church. It really spoke to me. So I found the you tube video the next day and played it while I was cooking supper. And that’s when it happened. That’s when He changed me.

“I’ve got a river of life flowing out of me. It makes the lame to walk and the blind to see. It opens prison doors, sets the captives free! Oh, I’ve got a river of life flowing out of me!”

But, God! I can’t be in prison … I don’t DO anything wrong. I do what I’m supposed to do. You’re only in prison because of bad things. Right?

Wrong.

I did NOT have a river of life flowing out of me.  In that moment, He opened my eyes to see my life the way He saw my life. So I looked around myself and I saw it. The cage I was in. It was ugly. It was lonely and frustrating and exhausting. It was self imposed. I had willingly walked into this horrible cage and closed the door behind me. I named the cage My Strength.

My Strength makes me forget two crucial facts. He is Good, and He will NEVER let me down.

In that precious moment, as I fully felt the truth of He is Good and He will never let me down, the door of My Strength swung open … and I ran. I got out of there as fast as I could. Not only did I get out, but I picked up a sledge hammer and I smashed that worthless cage. You won’t find me in there again.  My strength is useless, because I am His. He is my strength. His strength does more than I could ever ask or imagine. He is Good, and He will never let me down. And now … I’ve got a river of life flowing out of me!

This is the momma my babies deserve. They need to experience Jesus flowing out of me. My husband needs it. My church needs it. My parents need it. My community needs it. I’m ready now, to go where He sends me. I’m ready to say “yes, Lord” when He tells me to do something. I couldn’t do it before, because I was in My Strength and didn’t realize it.  Now I’m in His strength, and all things are possible. I am willing and He is capable. It’s going to be awesome!

Are you ready? Do you have a river of life flowing out of you? Or, are you in a cage that you don’t see? He wants you to see it. He wants freedom for you! He PAID for your freedom already! All you have to do is TAKE it. Take it and run! Grab your sledge hammer and smash that thing and NEVER. Go. Back! He is Good. And He will never let you down. Take the risk. Trust me, it’s worth it.

The Deceiver

I’m going to tell you a story. It’s a story you’ve heard time and time again. You know it by heart, you colored the pictures in Sunday school, and you’ve told it to your children. So, walk with me through the familiar tale of Eve and the serpent.

Once upon a time, there was a Father. The Father made a man from dust, and named him Adam. The Father told Adam “you are free to eat from any tree of the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for on the day you eat from it, you will certainly die.”

Then, the Father didn’t want Adam to be lonely. He put Adam into a deep sleep, removed one of his ribs, and made His wonderful creation called woman.

One day the woman was in the garden minding her own business, and a serpent approached her. He said to her, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” The woman answered the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.'”

“You will not surely die,” the liar said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” Then the woman looked at the tree and wanted the fruit. She believed the liar when he said she wouldn’t die. Her desire for the fruit and knowledge won as she ate what was forbidden. She gave it to her husband, and their eyes were opened to things God never intended them to see. Eve is burdened with painful childbirth (gee thanks, Eve), Adam has to work hard for food and provisions for his family, and they were kicked out of the garden.

There are many many many interpretations about what went wrong in the garden. Numerous people have given their opinions about who is to blame, and what could have been done differently to change things. I’m not interested in doing either. My goal is to shed light on two pieces of the puzzle.

1) This is satan’s first appearance in Scripture. His grand entrance. What is his first big move? He lies to manipulate. He twists the truth to birth doubt. He is the father of lies.

2) What God actually said about the fruit is not the same as Eve’s version of what He said. Eve wasn’t there when God instructed Adam never to eat from the tree in the middle of the garden. So, Eve got Adam’s version of what God said. She didn’t know God said she shouldn’t eat from that specific tree because she heard God say it. She knew she shouldn’t eat from that specific tree because Adam told her.

We need to KNOW what God says. We need to know what His Word says. We need to know who He is. We need to know who he says WE are. We need to know because we’ve heard the Lord. We need to know because we’ve read His Word for ourselves. It isn’t enough to listen to a sermon, read a book, or discuss with friends. Those things are wonderful pieces of life, but they wont hold up face to face with the father of lies. The deceiver is in our midst. He is all around us. He’s at work, he’s in school, he’s in your facebook newsfeed, he’s on the news. His deceit has infiltrated our lives and it is masquerading as truth. We need to know Truth so that we can expose his treachery. We need to know Truth so we can call him a liar when he whispers his nonsense in our ears. We need to eat, sleep, and breathe Truth so we can walk steadily down the path God has chosen for us. Without doubt. Without distraction.

I want to be quick to differentiate lies from truth. I want to be so deep in God’s will and His way that no lies can stand in my presence. Not in my mind, not in my emotions, not in my family, and not for my friends. I’m on an exciting new journey! The mission? Myth busting! His lies will not stand anymore. Truth reigns here! I’m excited about what is coming; I hope you join me!